What ever happens in the Steptoe household this Christmas the only thing guaranteed is there will be some kind of argument. It could be over anything lunch, what games to play, the presents the give each other etc. The most likely argument is likely to be over the television programme as evidenced in the episode Divided we stand. Can you just imagine the situation, it is late Christmas day, the turkey has been devoured the Christmas pudding put away and several drinks drunk !! Harold Steptoe no doubt wants to watch some arty programme on BBC2, a Christmas edition of Swan Lake or ‘poofs football’ as Albert puts it. Albert Steptoe wants something much more exciting Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie is much more up his street. Whatever they watch in Harold’s view it is going to be nasty, cheep and tatty. Ideal viewing for a Dirty Old Man.

This brings us nicely on to Harold Steptoe’s Christmas List. He would no doubt sit their on Christmas evening dreaming of all the presents he would have liked. A home of his own, a woman to marry, committing the perfect crime Murder at Oil Drum Lane. History shows us that only one of these wishes comes true. However in all honesty just like his father Harold should also have wished for an enhanced annuity as this would have prevented him spending his retirement skint !!