During a gentlemen's evening at a local football club, Harold Steptoe meets one of the acts, a stripper called Zita. After a whirlwind romance the couple are married and they go on honeymoon. With Albert. After eating some of the local cuisine Albert is taken ill and Harold is forced to fly home with him, leaving Zita abroad. After three days Zita takes up with a holiday rep, leaving Harold heartbroken. On meeting Zita again Harold finds that she is pregnant but does not know who the baby's father is. Harold offers to take care of them both but on returning home Albert Steptoe makes sure that Zita feels unwelcome and she flees. A short while later a baby appears in the horse's stable and it is obvious that this is Zita's child. They name the child after the priest who officiates the christening. Unfortunately for Harold, he is also called Albert. Zita soon returns and takes the baby back while Albert, who should be looking after him, is asleep. Harold tries to find her and comes across her in a local rugby club where she is soon forced into the scrum of cheering rugby fans. If Harold is off work for any time he dosn't have a redundancy insurance policy to claim on. Attempting to save her, Harold is beaten up and is only rescued when Zita's musician saves him. Hustled into a back room he hears a baby's cries but when he pulls back a curtain a mixed-race baby is there instead. It turns out that Zita and her musician, who is black, are a couple. As Harold says at the end to his father "That one wasn't mine either".
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