Homes Fit For Heroes (digitally cleaned)

[snodge]

I mentioned to my neice that she was looking great- Have you lost weight i asked etc?

She gave me a right old telling off saying you should never mention people weight as you never know they might be suffering from cancer, Funny thing was i saw her weight loss on her facebook post where she posted a picture proudly declaring her recent weight loss!
I give up with these snowflakes, she's 32 by the way


Re; you being follicly challenged etc, yes I'm fast going the same way, I was thinking of doing a " Trump" combing over from the back
as the back has grown long during the lockdown but the top is five -a- side Lol.

Have you done any " Manscaping? ... I haven't bothered as the tums in the way so it doesn't bother me

[Dirty Old Yank]

Have you done any " Manscaping? ... I haven't bothered as the tums in the way so it doesn't bother me

“Manscaping”...a vulgar term that makes most people, including me, wince .
Let’s just call it ‘grooming’ and leave it at that. I’m a little surprised you’d
ask, but as it happens I’ve groomed myself for decades. Women groom,
so why shouldn't men? Laziness. Besides, finding hair in one’s mouth
might’ve been amusing when we were young...but as an adult it’s
just disgusting. One of the strangest comments on the subject
came from an appalled Bill Bailey who seemed to think it
would result in, “a shadow on your scrot”...which I can
assure you doesn’t happen. The women I’ve known
since the 1990's all groomed themselves, so...
...when in Rome . It just became a habit,
neither unpleasant nor laborious, but
primarily as a hygienic courtesy to
anyone within pong's reach .
Needs not saying that those persons with astigmatism
or hand tremors...should not attempt it alone .

...the tums in the way...

This illustrates how transcontinental communication can sometimes go hilariously awry.
Over here, "tums" is a brand of antacid tablets, which reminds me of the time someone
in the forum mentioned "pud" (i.e. pudding) whereupon I fell about laughing....because
pud is American slang for male genitals. So when this Crimbo rolls round and someone
asks, "Would you like more pud?"....you just might reconsider that second helping .

[Dirty Old Yank]

Re; you being follicly challenged etc, yes I'm fast going the same way, I was thinking of doing a "Trump"
combing over from the back as the back has grown long during the lockdown but the top is five-a-side Lol.

Now just a moment, I never said I was “follicly challenged”.
The follicles are still there…there’s just no locks left in them .
If the hair is getting long in the back, you could always ask your good
lady wife to cut it, but recommend buying her something really nice first.
Best not to end up like an episode of Hitchcock Presents, shears in the neck.
Re: hair alternatives for men including comb-overs…
Completely bizarre innit...that our 'leaders' seem to believe that their hair
is somehow important. Precisely who were the p.r. imbeciles that advised
Reagan to put black shoe polish on his head? And the abject buffoonery
of Trump’s and Boris Johnson’s hair...makes the planet stare in awe .
Their deep-seated narcissism utterly demeans and embarrasses what
should be the dignity of high political office. Has everyone forgotten
that these psycho-social misfits have access to nuclear weapons?
We're all living now in Kubrick's dark satire, "Dr. Strangelove".
Seriously, I've known drag queens who weren't
so hair obsessive as Trump is .

But as comb-overs go, I’d aim for something loftier…
maybe Bernie Bresslaw, Don Rickles or Zero Mostel.
Their hair up top might’ve been unconvincing...
but at least they were funny .

[Dirty Old Yank]

...hey Doy...Did you grow up in England?

No...but if you hum a few bars I can fake it .
We're having egg & chips for breakfast though, homemade
too, with sliced tomatoes, can't get more English than that .
OH, and pepper...can't have breakfast without ground
pepper. Not that dusty stuff that makes you sneeze,
but proper, fresh ground pepper. It's key innit.
A meal that might lodge in your colon and
stick in your teeth...but OH so tasty .
Ilovesteptoe might've disapproved,
but try as I might, I can't always be
vegetarian. Neither can our carnivore
cats be expected to survive on grass alone,
despite the encouragement of Cheech & Chong .