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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Fri Mar 29, 2019 1:27 pm

snodge wrote:I wasn't a big radio buff in my formative years but i do know of the program etc, I listen mainly to music these days or watch comedy via the internets. I do see a growing resentment against the Beeb (as you remarked) and justifiably so- taking the free license away from pensioners is really nasty and spiteful and i hope parliament see's fit to abolish the fee altogether,That would be a day to celebrate and have plates and mugs printed -like when Diana and Charley got married, :) I dont consider myself a proper musican either - more like a acomplished amateur but I have a good ear and pitch,Todays pop music does my head in,not the music or lyrics but that awfull auto-tune effect they use on the main vocal,it sounds like a car horn and not human, These whippersnappers should listen to the likes of Sandie Shaw or Dusty Springfield to see that they didn't need it, All you need is talent and traning to sing without electronic help,Mind you even Michael Buble is using auto-tune these days and that guy can sing so it sounds like he's trying to be cool and copy the market. I was recently restoring a video clip with Brenda Lee singing from 1958 and she sounds so good,pure talent in a small powerful bundle and very rarely emulated these days.... Gosh I'm beginning to sound like a old fart : I have a live video taken of a band i was in 1986...back when i had hair and a mullet lol....I'll try and dig out some clips and upload them to youtube,It was only a small club band playing the hits of the day etc to a disinterested audience... most of the folk were half dead in this working mens club so you can't altogether blame them :)

I stand corrected, you do know Round the Horne :). There were many occasions when the music was exceptionally good, but describing them as “accidents” wasn’t false modesty. Many of the best bits were created with mates of
like minds who enjoyed rehearsed passages but especially improvised noises, which resembled musical tones.
And when the recording was played back, more often than not it was hilarious to hear how pleasing it was.
Thus, ‘accidents,’ albeit happy ones. I have good pitch too, which reminds me of a book I once owned,
wish I could remember the title and author (hardcover, mid-late 20th C., probably never went to paper).
In it the author, a voice teacher, very convincingly argued that everyone is born perfect pitch and provided
exercises for those hoping to rediscover that innate human ability. Hope you’ll put clips of your old band up
at yoochoobe, would enjoy listening very much. For a time I lived across from a workingman’s club. No bands,
just terrible Yank beer in small glasses (most folks have never seen an imperial pint), an elevated stage with a
pole in the center, and women exposing their breasts to over amplified pop music that I wouldn’t listen to on
the radio, with or without beer and bristols :roll:. I’ve raised all sorts of animals but never sheep and won’t eat
lamb. OH, you said mullet! ...Thought I heard mutton :o. Returning to an earlier topic, you suggested that ‘supernatural’ phenomena could be explained by quantum. I did a little research and discovered you’re
right. It’s accepted science, proven theoretically and experimentally, and is known as “non-locality.”
We’re agreed that today’s pitch perfect pop singers are exceedingly tedious! There's no art because what they’re doing isn’t music, it’s product like fast food. And like fast food...and the blight on the intellectual landscape that
are so called “music videos”….it’s incredibly unhealthy, psychologically and sociologically. Example, when todays filmmakers of any generation, ceaselessly shake the camera to create a psuedo cinéma vérité, what they’re really doing is a very old advertising technique where the senses of the consumer are overwhelmed causing confusion,
it conceals lack of content but the message remains embedded in the subconscious. That's precisely what has
been force fed to young music consumers since the tragic advent of that reprehensible, odious and utterly indefensible corruption of global music culture, MTV. When we were kids, my best mate and me would
skip school and practice guitar to albums like this Isley Brothers classic, "The Heat Is On" (1975)...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22t8AqYpbEM 8) .
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby snodge » Sat Mar 30, 2019 4:28 pm

This link explains that wave particles change their behavior when observed,
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double-slit_experiment

The science behind it is way above my pay grade but its the closest explanation for observed “non-locality”
and the fact atoms can behave in spooky ways.
Re the camera waving fruitcake producers drive me round the bend also and the way they can't focus on a single subject for more than a nano second in case us poor viewers get bored, its probably subliminal mind games on their part,or demonstrates how poor the content must be if they think we will get bored if the image stays on the screen for more than a brief flash.

Ah the Isley brothers...music for the senses... fond memories of working out the chord changes- especially " Summer Breeze"
and " Harvest for the world".. their two top hits that caught my ear listening to am radio back in the day.

All is right with the world when i listen to quality recordings and brilliant song writing by the likes of bands like the Isleys
that might explain how i eventually got obsessed with the music of Steely Dan and I put together a 13 piece tribute band playing their music, We gigged for a couple of years and it nearly drove me mad trying to book rehearsal rooms and try and get 13 guys in one place at one time :)
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Mon Apr 01, 2019 11:21 am

As we all know, Wiki is a load of old boots, shouldn't take anything they publish too seriously.
The mathematics of quantum are impenetrable, but the mechanics of non-locality are not.
I mentioned it in part because I had another quite significant 'supernatural' experience
recently, but more of that another time. I was going to compare wiki to an unfunny
version of brilliant comedian Professor Irwin Corey, whose tag line was “world’s
foremost authority.” Saddened to discover he passed on a few years ago age 102.
BBC & The Guardian (so called) didn’t even bother to mention his passing...and as a
Steptoe fan I wouldn’t touch Daily Mail with a barge pole. Here’s some of Irwin Corey’s
work, the guy was a comedy genius. Lenny Bruce described him as "one of the most brilliant
comedians of all time", high praise indeed https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CsdRGbQPr0.
You orchestrated a 13 piece band? 10 instruments weren’t enough? That is a bit mad :shock:.
Talk about a slog, I’m exhausted just reading that. My mountaineering days, sometimes
hanging from fingernails, might've had you ask “Were you mad?” and chances are my
answer would be similar to yours…it seemed like a good idea at the time :o.
Irwin Corey w/horror host "Svengoolie" c. 1972 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHqyy53qiAo.
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby snodge » Mon Apr 01, 2019 2:10 pm

We had 13 Muso's on a good day but average 10 if i recall correctly, As you can imagine the pay was abysmal as we charged punters at the door- So if only 5 turned up then it didn't cover our beer.
Looking back i did think it was a good a idea and when everything went to plan we all enjoyed the experience-But
it was alot of work and hassle to get it all set up.

Although i listed a Wiki link to that Quantum experiment it was covered in the science journals extensively
but sadly not in the daily mail ;) So you shot the messenger too soon I think :)

That Irwin Guy had old Letterman put out and it seemed he didn't quite get the humour, looks like he was never asked back
on the show again?

I bet thats where the prof in " Back to the future" got his hair idea from :)
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Tue Apr 02, 2019 12:08 pm

snodge wrote:Although i listed a Wiki link to that Quantum experiment it was covered in the science journals
extensively but sadly not in the daily mail ;) So you shot the messenger too soon I think :)

One of the many benefits of this forum is the free medical advice.
Funny thing is, I’ve never allowed weapons in my home and don’t hang around
with people who keep them. So imagine my surprise to discover that I’d been shot in
the foot, been stupidly hopping about the flat like a marsupial for days now! Cheers mate :o.
I mentioned Daily Mail because a quick search revealed they were one of few British tabloids with
an Corey obit. The reasons not to read tabloids are obvious enough, and since BBC & Guardian
couldn’t be bothered I didn’t know about Irwin Corey's passing till now, 2 sodding years later.
As for wikipaedia, any source of information that can be (and frequently is) secretly redacted
shouldn’t be trusted. Sure it’s useful, but more than a little dodgy. You’re right again, there
were times when Letterman was about as funny as a tumor, but in his defense he wasn’t as
bad as Jay Leno. Leno was about as funny as an inoperable tumor. Of course I was kidding
about your 13 piece band, full respect for doing that, but as a musician I’ll wager you never
attempted this: playing piano atop a flag pole, as writer/comedian Steve Allen does in this clip,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nR8jF3JPWxg. Now that’s proper mad, but wow was he funny :D.
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby snodge » Tue Apr 02, 2019 10:57 pm

I've played the piano in some funny places but can't top Steve allens performance, if i owned one i would take my hat off to him.
When his pole started swaying i nearly gave birth again,Well to be frank i didn't as i'm just a regular chap but you can see my point?

Imagine trying to get something like that off the ground...Groan.... in todays health and safety madness, Steve Allens flagship days were a one-off.. quirky and just a little mad but highly entertaining.

I get what you're saying about Wikapeads secret redactions and forcing different opinions on fringe area's like the Paranormal,
Its a strange website with strange people changing perceptions to their reductionist viewpoints. Run apparently by furtive amateur
magicians who frequent skeptic in the pub night quizs -stroking their beards thoughtfully whilst pondering the fringe sciences.
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Wed Apr 03, 2019 1:32 pm

snodge wrote:...see my point?

Yes indeed https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guqFqcV4Po0 :o.
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby snodge » Sat Apr 06, 2019 11:57 pm

Hi Doy,
You briefly posted another new message and deleted it soon after,

in it you mention something about " you have been rumbled" and " you are the poison in the equation"

I really haven't the foggiest about what you are referring too so would you do me the courtesy by explaining
whats on your mind?

Thanks
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Tue Apr 09, 2019 7:57 pm

I was quite ill, had just been physically assaulted, and some other misfortunes befell me.
As you can imagine, I was in a pretty foul mood that day. So, in my post I misspoke myself.
Despite appearances, my brief, hastily written comments were not directed at you nor were they
intended to offend you, but if they did I apologize. This sort of thing is typical of social media,
misunderstandings occur. Hope you’ll stick around Snodge, chatting has been great fun.
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby snodge » Wed Apr 10, 2019 11:21 pm

I reckon your mouse/keyboard is suffering from some sort of st vitus dance syndrome- as in the space of hours yours posts change
or amend or go through some sort of cosmic rearrangments,
Which you claim happens because of a emotional discourse which is partially relieved by you using social media as a sort of
written sonic sounding board which isn't aimed at the person your replying to?

Err ....ooOkay... I believe you. thousands wouldn't.. :)

quick question though..and i dont mean to sound too sarcastic.....How will i know for real if the venting is for real this time and you mean it? can we have some sort of safe password like in rough sex games?

Take care DOY and speak soon. :)
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Fri Apr 12, 2019 6:58 pm

snodge wrote:...rough sex games?

Erm…thanks, but no thanks. Being a friendly bloke, I’ve met people like that, B/D fetishists and nice folks though they are…it’s just not me. That kind of thing doesn’t bother me though....takes all types to make a world and as
long as they’re consenting adults no one is being harmed, live and let live even if all that mad gear can become unintentionally comical :o. Actually, those folks tend to be intelligent and quite cool, whereas the puritanical
more often than not suffer the insanity that deep-seated prejudices and psychological repression inevitably
resulted in, and still does to this day. Get a load of me, all of a sudden I’m Carl Jung and Wilhelm Reich :roll:.
snodge wrote:...i dont mean to sound too sarcastic...

Be as sarky as you like mate, this is after all a British comedy forum...and maybe I deserve it. I could give you a laundry list of everything that went horribly wrong that day, but that’d be self indulgent, everybody has problems. But wow was it a humdinger, still is actually, the prognosis aint good yet apparently my sense of humour is intact
(see below.)*
snodge wrote:...suffering from some sort of st vitus dance...

Accidental ergot poisoning and the resulting St Vitus Dance is a remarkably apt parallel, events not of my making
left me completely disorientated. If I wrote something untoward and you need a second apology Snodge, O.K.
...Because what scares me is that next you’ll be asking for a hug :shock:.
*Back on topic…Approaching the block, a condemned man asks his puzzled executioner,
"Have you ever had a song going through your head and you just can’t seem to get rid of it?”
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby snodge » Fri Apr 12, 2019 7:22 pm

*Back on topic…Approaching the block, a condemned man asks his puzzled executioner,
"Have you ever had a song going through your head and you just can’t seem to get rid of it?”


Well with that joke you got your own back... just spat MY coffee all over me keyboard... LOL :lol: :lol:

Nah i dont need a hug or laundry list DOY unless there's one going for a song,
but it sounds serious with what you're saying and what went on that day... i dont mean you any harm with my sledge hammer wit
so I'm relieved you get my UK pithy pathos which to be fair is unusual with what you being of the transatlantic type form :)

Tom jones went to his doctor and said he had gotten a golf ball stuck up his bum,The doctor examined him and said
"thats not unusual"

Can i ask what the prognosis was that you were given? We as humans are a nosy lot of sods so apologies
if I'm being nosy :)

Just a Guess but did you have issues with a migraine medication? ... Might explain this mother of a headache i just had for 3 days,
one one side of head and radiating into the neck, really painful and only just eased a bit now.
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Sat Apr 13, 2019 2:02 pm

snodge wrote:...I'm relieved you get my UK pithy pathos...

"Pithy Pathos"....isn’t that an English water cracker? I’ve had those, you can stack as much
cheese or whatever condiments from the fridge on top and they still taste like an arid desert :o.
If you’ve had a headache for three+ days the cure is simple, very strong coffee. Ask anyone that suffers
debilitating migraines and they’ll tell you the same thing: caffeine is often prescribed. Needs not saying that
if you have pre-existing heart problems or coffee/caffeine allergies, don't try this. Make it at home with a drip
filter, be certain the beans are ground very fine, Turkish style for maximum extraction and brew that cup WAY
strong, I mean like 3 heaping tablespoons per cup. Add some milk...and I’ll wager that headache will be gone
within a few hours. Also change the pillow you sleep on, try one that’s flatter and switch sides of your head
during the night. All of this might seem obvious (or ridiculous) ...but it works.
snodge wrote:Nah i dont need a hug...

...You mean I shaved for nothing? :roll: Had you told me sooner,
I wouldn't have drawn a (tin) bath either. The picked onions
are lovely though, but I can't seem to place the aroma...
http://www.albertandharold.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=2410.
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby snodge » Tue Apr 16, 2019 12:52 am

I wouldn't have drawn a (tin) bath either. The picked onions
are lovely though, but I can't seem to place the aroma...


You ain't lived Mr Doy when you had the pleasure of `aving a tin bath on friday night after your 4 older sibs and mum and dads
murky waters.... made me the man i am today though.....bitter...ill and broke :)

it was always freezing cold as i recall...only a small paraffin fire and lino on the floor, power cuts and fog as well.
you try telling T`folk of today and they won't believe yer....
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Tue Apr 16, 2019 5:05 pm

snodge wrote:You ain't lived Mr Doy when you had the pleasure of `aving a tin bath on friday night after your 4 older sibs and mum and dads murky waters.... made me the man i am today though.....bitter...ill and broke :)
it was always freezing cold as i recall...only a small paraffin fire and lino on the floor, power cuts and fog as well.
you try telling T`folk of today and they won't believe yer....

Paints a familiar picture, being working class too. But the rising damp we had usually took the form of humidity,
and frankly I prefer icy cold fog. Is the grass always greener? No but I’m not crazy either, I’d rather freeze
my tits off than sweat like a pig. You’ve reminded me of those hilarious scenes of Albert’s steadfast
disregard for hygiene, the kind of attitude that dates back centuries, when people believed that
dirt kept diseases out. Can imagine Albert saying...if there’s a peasouper outside, why fill the bath
when a quick wipe down in the yard would do just as well. Then Harold pours washing up powder all
over Albert’s neck, “Look at the dirt coming off!” Those bits never stop being funny, having actually
lived like that :o. Although you suggested it, you haven’t said whether or not you suffer chronic
migraines Snodge. The strong coffee cure I mentioned is an effective inexpensive quick-fix,
...and considerably less painful than waiting many months for an NHS appointment.
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