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Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby snodge » Tue Apr 16, 2019 6:51 pm

Although you suggested it, you haven’t said whether or not you suffer chronic
migraines Snodge


No i dont think i suffer chronic migraines, I suffer with severe tinnitus, and when this is bad it can trigger a headache
the severity of the headache varies and can be really bad (as i described previously), But i dont have the classic migraine
pre-cursors with auras and smells etc,
I think your right about your coffee cure as i noticed some painkiller ingredients contained caffeine, I drink instant coffee
but not to excess etc but i will try your remedy next time. Caffeine tablets are available to buy here in the UK and contain 50mg per tablet so might be useful to folk who dont drink coffee.
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Mon Apr 22, 2019 1:48 pm

When we were young I'd come home from loud punk shows,
...ears ringing for days. Not a good idea, but hadn't heard
of tinnitus. There've been recent medical studies (2014)
that suggest drinking coffee helps prevent tinnitus but
the question remains, were those widely publicized
studies subsidized or influenced in any way by an
unfathomably wealthy, global coffee industry
and conscienceless lobbyists? ...A distinct
possibility, with consumer protections
now virtually extinct. Back on topic,
another hilarious Noel Coward story (as told by Barry Cryer.)
A theatre critic slagged one of Coward's later plays and he
wrote the critic back, "I'm sitting in the smallest room
in the house with your review in front of me,
...in a moment it will be behind me" :lol:.
Playwright/humourist George S. Kaufman encountered
an inept bridge partner in the gents and Kaufman
said, "...That's the first time this evening
I've known what was in your hand" :shock:.
snodge wrote:...been playing geetar since i was 12

Then chances are you'll enjoy this brief clip of genius guitarist,
Joe Pass https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZS9_a8kT4x4 :o.
"I'm a rag n' bone man, I'm not a poxy grave robber!"
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Mon Sep 23, 2019 1:31 pm

"What's the worst thing about Ant n Decs? The view." --Rodney Dangerfield.
"I'm a rag n' bone man, I'm not a poxy grave robber!"
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Uncle Nobby » Tue Oct 01, 2019 7:38 am

A big German lorry driver was sat in a York bar mouthing off to anyone and everyone about how lazy the British workers were..
He said: "I regularly drive my rig from Hamburg to York, via Holland and Belgium drop my load off and be back in Hamburg in under 2 days."
A drunken Yorkshireman can't help but hear and mutters: "(Sod) off lad, I used to pick my load up in Dishforth just up the road from here, drop it off in Hamburg and make it back to Dishforth the same day just in time for a bacon, sausage and double egg breakfast!"
The German man gives a sarcastic laugh and replies: "Oh yeah old man, and what kind of fancy rig were you driving?"
The old fella never hesitated and replied: "An (effing) Lancaster Bomber, you (corn on the cob) head!"
"And you look after those gloves!"
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Tue Oct 01, 2019 10:54 am

Classic joke Nobby, thanks for that :o.
But please, try to avoid expletives in forum posts.
I swear like a longshoreman all the time and always have.
Seriously, I cuss more than a Teamster on a p*ss-up...doesn't bother me.
But I don't swear in public...unless somebody drops an anvil on my foot.
Which funnily enough has happened, it wasn't funny at the time tho :x.
In those instances all pretenses to social graces flee the scene, !!@#!!%$&!!@#!!
And when adults are offended by "rude" words, we can't help but think, this is
the 21st century, grow up for cattle truck's sake. But like it or not words can
offend and even if it seems irrational, swearing in the forum is ill advised.
Better to moderate our language and when necessary, use rhyming
cockney instead, sorted. That's why I (changed) the expletives
in your post. Sorry Nobby, but it had to be done...
...Bob's automatic "naughty word checker" didn't catch them:
http://www.albertandharold.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=25&start=15.
Kinda wish you hadn't mentioned full english, made us hungry now :).
And just in time for the end of tomato season too...phew!
Can't have full breakfast without tomatoes, it's important.

You might enjoy this slim trade paperback Nobby, it's hilarious...
"International Dictionary of Obscenities: A Guide To Dirty Words and
Indecent Expressions in Spanish, Italian, French, German, Russian"
by Christina Kunitskaya-Peterson (Scythian Books publisher,
1981, republished 1991). Essential, fun reading 8).
"I'm a rag n' bone man, I'm not a poxy grave robber!"
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Uncle Nobby » Sat Oct 05, 2019 6:36 pm

Hi DOY.

Yes sorry about that me old china!

TTFN!
"And you look after those gloves!"
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Sun Oct 06, 2019 6:36 pm

Uncle Nobby wrote:...me old china!

You’ve gone and made us hungry again Nobby, only this
time for take-away 8). It’s a good thing I brought my
abacus along. Hmm….at 10p per, that means you
owe the swear box...30p! A nice round figure,
…just like my old woman’s :o.
"I'm a rag n' bone man, I'm not a poxy grave robber!"
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