What did Albert say?

[Mickey]

In the episode Up stairs down stairs, up stairs down stairs from 1974 what did Albert say to Harold after Harold had carried Albert from his bedroom and down the stairs and out to the outside toilet and placed him down on the toilet?. Albert sits on the toilet for about five or six seconds before speaking to Harold who is stood by the open toilet door and says to his father "It isn't doing me no favours either" which gets a laugh from the television audience anyway due to the microphone in the toilet only just about picking up bits of dialog of what Albert says to Harold and with laughter from the audience it makes it hard to make out what Albert actually says to Harold from inside the toilet?. Does anyone know what Albert says to Harold?.

[Dirty Old Yank]

In the episode Up stairs down stairs, up stairs down stairs from 1974 what did Albert say to Harold after Harold had carried Albert from his bedroom and down the stairs and out to the outside toilet and placed him down on the toilet?. Albert sits on the toilet for about five or six seconds before speaking to Harold who is stood by the open toilet door and says to his father "It isn't doing me no favours either" which gets a laugh from the television audience anyway due to the microphone in the toilet only just about picking up bits of dialog of what Albert says to Harold and with laughter from the audience it makes it hard to make out what Albert actually says to Harold from inside the toilet?. Does anyone know what Albert says to Harold?.

Hi Mickey. You’ve probably already thought of this, but…
Ray & Alan’s Steptoe scripts have been published somewhere…a tome I don’t own.
But as Harry & Wilfrid were both experienced stage and screen actors, they knew when
to moderate the volume of their speech and/or when to repeat lines that might not have
been heard when audience laughter was deafening…as when Albert sat on the bog with his
gyp back. Perhaps Willy was rolling those ill fitted hampsteads around in his mouth before
speaking scripted dialog...that’d be our first guess. Hope you’ll keep posting Mickey...
...most folks here died (friends I miss: Richard, Archie, et al) or lost their bottle.

[Mickey]

Thanks for your reply Dirty Old Yank and as a matter of interest I actually became a member of this forum back in 2013 but after a couple of posts I didn't keep it up and to be honest I didn't think my membership was still valid until I logged in again a week ago.

As for the series it's self of Steptoe & son I vaguely recall watching the 1960s black & white series on the telly when I was a youngster but I remember the early 1970s colour series a bit better. Around 2012 I bought all the available dvds including the two Christmas specials from 1973 & 1974 and also the two feature length films and believe it or not I actually watch at least two or three episodes daily and my favourite episodes are from the 1970s series which include-

Tea for two
Pot black
The Three feathers
Men of letters
Divided we stand
The Desperate hours
back in fashion
And so to bed
A star is born
Loathe story
Oh what a beautiful mourning
Up stairs down stairs, Up stairs down stairs

Some of the other episodes are good but I don't tend to watch them to often which includes-

The colour problem
T.B. or NOT T.B.?
Men of property

The episodes that I rarely watch are-

Live now P.A.Y.E. later
Cuckoo in the nest
The seven Steptorai
Séance in a wet rag and bone yard

Also living in London as I do I occasionally travel over to Shepherds Bush in west London the Steptoe's old stomping ground.

[Dirty Old Yank]

...I actually watch at least two or three episodes daily...

Wise policy, Steptoe is good for health...and considerably cheaper than a therapist .
Sometimes, while tidying the flat, I'll put Steptoe on, cheers me right up; because
few things are more foolish than a grown man swearing at the washing up .

[Mickey]

The two feature length films are great!. I especially like the first 40 minutes or so of the first film which sets the scene for the 'stag night' at the Football club and the next morning when Albert is cooking Harold's breakfast and then Harold tells his dad that he is getting married to a stripper and Albert's reaction is to let the fried egg slide off the cooking utensil and onto the kitchen floor with Albert telling Harold "You bloody fool those birds aren't for marrying but for looking at!" then Albert scoops the fried egg off the floor and slaps it on Harold's plate!.

The second film Steptoe & son Rides Again I actually find slightly funnier than the first film but in reality they are both really good films to watch.

It is difficult to say what are my top 10 television episodes are but if pushed I would say in no particular order-

Men of letters
And so to bed
Back in fashion
Divided we stand
The Desperate hours
Pot black
The three feathers
Up stairs down stairs, Up stairs down stairs
Loathe story
...and either Tea for two or A star is born?.

I know most of the dialog transcript off the top of my head with all the above episodes.

[Dirty Old Yank]

...off the top of my head...

Once upon a...I had a head o' hair, o brother did I ever.
It cascaded over me shoulders. But now, well...
If you're gonna throw hair away, at least
donate it to the needy: i.e. me!

[Mickey]

Ha ha well I have still got a fair bit of hair left on me head now being in my early 60s.

Also I noticed that Harold still had a fair bit of hair in left in the episode Back in fashion from 1974.

[Dirty Old Yank]

...I noticed that Harold still had a fair bit of hair in left in the episode Back in fashion from 1974.

He also sported huge sideburns that more closely resembled headphones, but most blokes did back then.
Those 70's fashions were nightmarish though weren't they? Not just ugly, but startlingly uncomfortable too.
Polyester fabrics of impossibly garish colours not of any spectrum, flared trousers, lapels that splayed out to
the shoulders...just add a rainbow fright-wig and there you have it...the world's most disturbing clown suit .
That people actually walked around dressed like that, in public, was more than a little distressing to the psyche.
Can look back and laugh now, but then? ...Yikes!