Play Steptoe and Son GamesContact Us about anything do to with Steptoe and Son

Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Discuss anything you like.

Moderators: Dirty Old Yank, PhilGlass

Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Ilovesteptoe » Sun Aug 10, 2014 8:28 pm

There are three things I hate about people who are narcissistic, but do give me a moment to think as I've just seen my reflection in the mirror .... well hellooo there good looking are you pleased to see me or have you come in fancy dress as a tripod. :P
Last edited by Ilovesteptoe on Mon Aug 11, 2014 8:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Cheer if you love Steptoe & Son!

You dirty old man, cow son! Bognor here we come!
User avatar
Ilovesteptoe
 
Posts: 970
Joined: Sat Mar 02, 2013 3:24 pm
Location: In Swansea City travelling on my cart totting for deals!

Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Mon Aug 11, 2014 11:13 am

Q: Did you hear about the bloke that got his left side cut off?
A: He’s all right now.

Q: Did you hear about the bloke that got his right side cut off?
A: He’s lucky to have what’s left!
Last edited by Dirty Old Yank on Tue Aug 12, 2014 11:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
"I'm a rag n' bone man, I'm not a poxy grave robber!"
User avatar
Dirty Old Yank
 
Posts: 1360
Joined: Sun May 09, 2010 2:46 pm
Location: A laundrette on the South Col

Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Ilovesteptoe » Mon Aug 11, 2014 9:01 pm

A man walks into a shop, and the shop says excuse me that's rude. :mrgreen:
Cheer if you love Steptoe & Son!

You dirty old man, cow son! Bognor here we come!
User avatar
Ilovesteptoe
 
Posts: 970
Joined: Sat Mar 02, 2013 3:24 pm
Location: In Swansea City travelling on my cart totting for deals!

Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Tue Sep 23, 2014 6:44 pm

My O-level English instructor was grading my paper and he said, “I see a dangling participle.”
So I told him I’d just wear a long coat and nobody would notice. :roll:
Last edited by Dirty Old Yank on Tue Nov 04, 2014 4:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"I'm a rag n' bone man, I'm not a poxy grave robber!"
User avatar
Dirty Old Yank
 
Posts: 1360
Joined: Sun May 09, 2010 2:46 pm
Location: A laundrette on the South Col

Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Ilovesteptoe » Sat Sep 27, 2014 10:59 am

The wife's been nagging me that I don't take notice of her anymore, whoever she is?
Cheer if you love Steptoe & Son!

You dirty old man, cow son! Bognor here we come!
User avatar
Ilovesteptoe
 
Posts: 970
Joined: Sat Mar 02, 2013 3:24 pm
Location: In Swansea City travelling on my cart totting for deals!

Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Archie » Sun Sep 28, 2014 4:49 pm

This is a gay bar.

Yes it seems a very friendly pub :shock:
Eeh I wanna see the Nudes of 1964
User avatar
Archie
 
Posts: 970
Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 4:40 pm
Location: Largs Ayrshire Coast

Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby PhilGlass » Mon Sep 29, 2014 11:34 am

David Cameron is Prime Minister...
"What do I want to go and see a film about Lesbians for?"
User avatar
PhilGlass
 
Posts: 1124
Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2008 1:41 pm
Location: Down the football club pulling a stripper!

Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Ilovesteptoe » Wed Oct 01, 2014 12:19 pm

I have a fantasy of Nuns holding buns, but was told by my Doctor "ahmen, and not to worry seeing that I was a Monk , sheltered and that it was just a bad habit and not holy surprising." :mrgreen:
Cheer if you love Steptoe & Son!

You dirty old man, cow son! Bognor here we come!
User avatar
Ilovesteptoe
 
Posts: 970
Joined: Sat Mar 02, 2013 3:24 pm
Location: In Swansea City travelling on my cart totting for deals!

Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Sun Mar 08, 2015 12:17 pm

An interior decorator admiring some of George Burns and Gracie Allen’s antique furniture asks, “Gracie, where did you get the priceless old relic with the curved legs and the hand decorated drawers?”
And Gracie says, “I met him in Vaudeville.” :roll:
"I'm a rag n' bone man, I'm not a poxy grave robber!"
User avatar
Dirty Old Yank
 
Posts: 1360
Joined: Sun May 09, 2010 2:46 pm
Location: A laundrette on the South Col

Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Ilovesteptoe » Wed Mar 11, 2015 7:05 pm

On my Wedding day, I was told that I had no sense of direction by my ex wife.
Cheer if you love Steptoe & Son!

You dirty old man, cow son! Bognor here we come!
User avatar
Ilovesteptoe
 
Posts: 970
Joined: Sat Mar 02, 2013 3:24 pm
Location: In Swansea City travelling on my cart totting for deals!

Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Uncle Nobby » Wed May 20, 2015 10:22 pm

From the first movie Steptoe and Son.

Compere (Mike Read): "There were these two geese see flying up the M1, when they were overtaken by a Jumbo Jet!"

"One of the geese says to the other 'Harry' because he knew him! 'Harry I wish I could fly like that!'"

"And the other goose said 'You could if you had four bums on fire!'"

Q: Why was 6 scared?

A: Because 7 8 9!
"And you look after those gloves!"
Uncle Nobby
 
Posts: 269
Joined: Tue May 12, 2015 8:43 pm

Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Mon Dec 19, 2016 5:44 pm

Harold: “Happy Christmas Dad. Some laughs, a few drinks...enjoying yourself?”
Albert: “Oh yeah. I feel like an 19 year old, but unfortunately there’s never one around.”

:shock: .....you dirty old man!!!

Happy Christmas everybody :o.
"I'm a rag n' bone man, I'm not a poxy grave robber!"
User avatar
Dirty Old Yank
 
Posts: 1360
Joined: Sun May 09, 2010 2:46 pm
Location: A laundrette on the South Col

Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Ilovesteptoe » Tue Dec 27, 2016 10:18 pm

One troublesome day I happened to meet my local GP in the local park. She said: Hello Mr Head, I noticed you sitting there all glum faced. I replied back saying: Well Hello Doctor, nice to see you this fine morning. Then proceeded to open up telling her of my erection problems, and how it was affecting my marriage. She said: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that, and proceeded to write out a prescription for Viagra? So I graciously thanked her for listening, then grabbed it with both hands, and ran home to show the wife Fellatio (she's Italian). So on arriving home, I told her of our surprise meeting in the park & Viagra pills prescription, and she replied: That all good Dick, but how will that fix the Aerial dispute with the local council? :P
Cheer if you love Steptoe & Son!

You dirty old man, cow son! Bognor here we come!
User avatar
Ilovesteptoe
 
Posts: 970
Joined: Sat Mar 02, 2013 3:24 pm
Location: In Swansea City travelling on my cart totting for deals!

Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Uncle Nobby » Wed Jan 11, 2017 9:48 pm

Hey did you hear about the Paper Shop?

It blew away!
"And you look after those gloves!"
Uncle Nobby
 
Posts: 269
Joined: Tue May 12, 2015 8:43 pm

Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Uncle Nobby » Wed Jan 11, 2017 9:52 pm

Dirty Old Yank wrote:Q: Did you hear about the bloke that got his left side cut off?
A: He’s all right now.

Q: Did you hear about the bloke that got his right side cut off?
A: He’s lucky to have what’s left!


Q: Did you hear about the man who was cut in two?

A: He's not half the man he used to be!
"And you look after those gloves!"
Uncle Nobby
 
Posts: 269
Joined: Tue May 12, 2015 8:43 pm

PreviousNext

Return to Chit Chat

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron

 

 

Testing