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Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Ilovesteptoe » Sat May 10, 2014 11:31 am

999....... Hello is that the Police, there's a Tory MP following me on twitter what shall I do, and I'm Labour? Telephonist: Sir don't worry, he or she thought you were a freebie seeing your username was Wonga.
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Sun May 11, 2014 10:40 am

Ilovesteptoe wrote:...Groucho in Duck Soup: “Maybe you can suggest something. As a matter of fact, you do suggest something. To me you suggest a baboon.” 8)

You've left out the zinger. Adding insult to injury, Groucho continues:
“I’m sorry I said that, it’s not fair to the rest of the baboons.”

You might recall my recommending “Miller’s Crossing” (1990) to you not so long ago, “...more slang expressions than H. L. Mencken on a (booze) up.” You’ve reminded me that, the Marx Bros “Monkey Business” (1931) was probably the dialog template for that Cohen Bros film. Depression era expressions condensed so tightly, it’s difficult not to notice. A favorite scene from Monkey Business, the stowaway Marx’s hiding in their barrels (was Tolkien an influence, or vice versa?) singing “Sweet Adeline”. Listen carefully and unless I’m mistaken, 4 voices are heard,
the last being Harpo’s :o

Detective Henderson: “Am I crazy or were there 4 beds in here?!”
Groucho: “Now which question do you want me to answer first Henderson?”
(A Night At the Opera).
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Ilovesteptoe » Mon May 12, 2014 2:20 pm

Dirty Old Yank wrote:
Ilovesteptoe wrote:...Groucho in Duck Soup: “Maybe you can suggest something. As a matter of fact, you do suggest something. To me you suggest a baboon.” 8)

You've left out the zinger. Adding insult to injury, Groucho continues:
“I’m sorry I said that, it’s not fair to the rest of the baboons.”

You might recall my recommending “Miller’s Crossing” (1990) to you not so long ago, “...more slang expressions than H. L. Mencken on a (booze) up.” You’ve reminded me that, the Marx Bros “Monkey Business” (1931) was probably the dialog template for that Cohen Bros film. Depression era expressions condensed so tightly, it’s difficult not to notice. A favorite scene from Monkey Business, the stowaway Marx’s hiding in their barrels (was Tolkien an influence, or vice versa?) singing “Sweet Adeline”. Listen carefully and unless I’m mistaken, 4 voices are heard,
the last being Harpo’s :o

Detective Henderson: “Am I crazy or were there 4 beds in here?!”
Groucho: “Now which question do you want me to answer first Henderson?”
(A Night At the Opera).


Oops you're right there about that. I totally forgot that line to my shame, or to ape Groucho. I forgot therefore I can't remember. :P

The best Coen brother's film in my opinion and there are loads is Where for art thou Brother (2000). I love not only for the look of the movie set in the twenties but the wacky dialogue, the songs and overall look which influenced greatly my chewing wheat and looking like a hill-billy. :mrgreen:
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Fri May 16, 2014 1:03 pm

Ilovesteptoe wrote:The best Coen brother's film in my opinion and there are loads is Where for art thou Brother (2000). I love...the wacky dialogue, the songs and overall look which influenced greatly my chewing wheat and looking like a hill-billy. :mrgreen:

(removes chewin’ wheat from mouth)
Hang on, we aint all Hatfields & McCoys out here ye know, dueling with our banjos.
And I never kissed a cousin.
‘Sides, overalls is reel comfy! Keeps ye cool in summer’s blistering heat.
And they’s easy to remove.....for them dates with Dolly Clackett :o

The music from “Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?” became a benefit performance featuring the original artists, it’s a DVD and CD titled, “Down From the Mountain.” It’s outstanding, very highly recommended :)
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Ilovesteptoe » Fri May 16, 2014 2:06 pm

Dirty Old Yank wrote:
Ilovesteptoe wrote:The best Coen brother's film in my opinion and there are loads is Where for art thou Brother (2000). I love...the wacky dialogue, the songs and overall look which influenced greatly my chewing wheat and looking like a hill-billy. :mrgreen:

(removes chewin’ wheat from mouth)
Hang on, we aint all Hatfields & McCoys out here ye know, dueling with our banjos.
And I never kissed a cousin.
‘Sides, overalls is reel comfy! Keeps ye cool in summer’s blistering heat.
And they’s easy to remove.....for them dates with Dolly Clackett :o

The music from “Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?” became a benefit performance featuring the original artists, it’s a DVD and CD titled, “Down From the Mountain.” It’s outstanding, very highly recommended :)


( He also removes his chewin wheat after a night on the razzle drinking mountain fire with his fellow hill billies but not from his mouth sadly , then walks like Charlie Chaplin :shock: ) Yeah got that music CD to of the movie soundtrack, love it also. There's never a misty evening where I'm not swigging a jar of home made hootch in my dungarees scratching my sweet fanny Adams. ( Fanny means bum in America to our UK members, and whoever Adams is is still yet to be decided?) :?
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Sat May 17, 2014 3:10 pm

Ilovesteptoe wrote:(He also removes his chewin wheat after a night on the razzle drinking mountain fire with his fellow hill billies but not from his mouth sadly, then walks like Charlie Chaplin :shock:) Yeah got that music CD to of the movie soundtrack, love it also. There's never a misty evening where I'm not swigging a jar of home made hootch in my dungarees scratching my sweet fanny Adams. (Fanny means bum in America to our UK members, and whoever Adams is is still yet to be decided?) :?

We’re drifting towards ‘politically incorrect’ waters here, but if we can’t laugh at ourselves :wink:
Nevertheless it should be said “hillbilly” is not necessarily a term of opprobrium any more than “oakie”.
What they in fact mean is an impoverished but proud, abandoned working class very much akin to the Steptoe’s and I’d steer clear of moonshine mate, that stuff’s deadly.
There’s little doubt the whole “PC” thing has got out of hand. Example: I was chatting with my best mate and without thinking I used an expression dating back to the 19th century, “not one red cent” (it refers to indian head copper pennies). I stopped mid-sentence when I remembered, this fella is Native American!
I quickly apologized and he laughed loudly at my being so foolish, of course he didn't care :)
The "Down From the Mountain" CD is good, but if you can find the DVD benefit performance, it’s way better, time not wasted. And we’re confident Britons already know the meaning of “fanny”. After all, Fanny Hill wasn’t written by a yank. Favorite Adams? No question, it’s Charles Addams 8)
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Ilovesteptoe » Sat May 17, 2014 9:55 pm

Dirty Old Yank wrote:
Ilovesteptoe wrote:(He also removes his chewin wheat after a night on the razzle drinking mountain fire with his fellow hill billies but not from his mouth sadly, then walks like Charlie Chaplin :shock:) Yeah got that music CD to of the movie soundtrack, love it also. There's never a misty evening where I'm not swigging a jar of home made hootch in my dungarees scratching my sweet fanny Adams. (Fanny means bum in America to our UK members, and whoever Adams is is still yet to be decided?) :?

We’re drifting towards ‘politically incorrect’ waters here, but if we can’t laugh at ourselves :wink:
Nevertheless it should be said “hillbilly” is not necessarily a term of opprobrium any more than “oakie”.
What they in fact mean is an impoverished but proud, abandoned working class very much akin to the Steptoe’s and I’d steer clear of moonshine mate, that stuff’s deadly.
There’s little doubt the whole “PC” thing has got out of hand. Example: I was chatting with my best mate and without thinking I used an expression dating back to the 19th century, “not one red cent” (it refers to indian head copper pennies). I stopped mid-sentence when I remembered, this fella is Native American!
I quickly apologized and he laughed loudly at my being so foolish, of course he didn't care :)
The "Down From the Mountain" CD is good, but if you can find the DVD benefit performance, it’s way better, time not wasted. And we’re confident Britons already know the meaning of “fanny”. After all, Fanny Hill wasn’t written by a yank. Favorite Adams? No question, it’s Charles Addams 8)


Hey there's naughty and rude and I prefer to be both, although within reason of decency of course. Sometimes I can be a walking Carry on movie to by own detriment. :P

Interesting info regarding the saying " not one red cent, never knew that. I know sometimes things are said not meaning to be hurtful but sometimes feet are firmly place in ones gob. There's a saying that's used in the US that unknown to most Americans and a slight to us Welsh which was most likely taken over to the States with the settlers called " Welching or Welshing on a deal or Welsh or Welcher". Indeed it was used my Bill Clinton in state of union message and was much anger to Welsh Americans who then received an apology form the White House. The saying comes from when the Welsh archers using the Welsh Longbows who were mercenaries fighting alongside their English counterparts in battles such as Agencourt and other conflicts here in Wales and through Britain who were ordered to kill their own countrymen and indeed brothers in some cases who were fighting for Welsh rebel Owain Glyndwr and would either flee or in some cases attack the English army instead by turning their bows on them so this slight was used against us Welsh as untrustworthy although you too if faced with murdering your own kin would do the same I feel. I'm amazed it's still used even today in the states without the knowledge of it's origin? :|

Thinking of the name fanny Hill, I think that derives from when the French were in the US as Fanny is a pet form of Frances although the name is also used in the UK so it could be due to the Brit settlers also, and you're right Fanny Hill was written by the English novelist John Cleland first published in London in 1748 about was about a lady of ill repute and rather steamy for it's time. :shock:
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Sun May 18, 2014 1:14 pm

I was under the impression the Carry On’s were pretty tame, but I’ve only seen Carry On Screaming, it’s a favorite.
To “welsh” or “welch” is an expression I’ve heard only a few times in some old movies, possibly a few times on telly and it was so many years ago I’d completely forgotten about it, until you mentioned it. I’ve never heard it used in real life so it’s probably not as common as you may think. For as long as I can remember, welch meant only one person, Raquel Welch :o
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Ilovesteptoe » Mon May 19, 2014 11:35 am

Dirty Old Yank wrote:I was under the impression the Carry On’s were pretty tame, but I’ve only seen Carry On Screaming, it’s a favorite.
To “welsh” or “welch” is an expression I’ve heard only a few times in some old movies, possibly a few times on telly and it was so many years ago I’d completely forgotten about it, until you mentioned it. I’ve never heard it used in real life so it’s probably not as common as you may think. For as long as I can remember, welch meant only one person, Raquel Welch :o



The only Carry On I think that was slightly bawdy was the last and least successful Carry on Emanuel (1978) which unlike it's predecessors who mostly had naughty postcard humour used overtly sexual overtones. The times I think and the downfall of the franchise sadly, and I agree with you that Carry On Screaming is my particular favourite too. It appeals to every horror genre from Hammer to Universal even to Steptoe & Son with that scene where detective Sergeant Sidney Bung( Harry H Corbett) in monster form is required by Doctor Orlando Watt (Kenneth Williams) to get the human mannequin Doris Mann played by (Angela Douglas) from that shop window before the police realize and his appearance on that cart with butler Sockett (Bernard Breslaw) Steptoe & Son music in the background as a tribute to Harry. 8)

Regarding the saying "Welsh or Welch on a deal." I agree it's not used largely today but it is still mentioned with most unaware of the origin or meaning but it does create some debate over here when a US president uses it. No, the saying Welsh isn't a singular word in that context and describes a nation. The word "Welsh" was a German Saxon word meaning "stranger" and was given to us Cymro or or native Britons ( Cymru: a name given to ourselves as countrymen/women as fellow comrades throughout Britain) who inhabited the British isles by the pagan Saxons who on invading Britain post the Romans leaving came from Germany who saw us as not like them with culture and language and romanized. You mention actress Raquel Welch, if indeed that's her real name funnily enough the surname Welch an alternative spelling of Welsh means the same I:E Welshman or in her case Welshmoman denoting that her ancestors came from Wales. :)
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Mon May 19, 2014 5:15 pm

You haven't mentioned Eurovision yet, did you enjoy the bearded lady?
Call me a bluff old traditionalist but I'm still partial to Fr. Ted & Dougal's "My Lovely Horse." :)
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Ilovesteptoe » Tue May 20, 2014 8:22 am

Dirty Old Yank wrote:You haven't mentioned Eurovision yet, did you enjoy the bearded lady?
Call me a bluff old traditionalist but I'm still partial to Fr. Ted & Dougal's "My Lovely Horse." :)


Regarding Eurovison. Yeah seen that the other weekend especially Poland's entry ooooh.. er..... misses, and Conchita Wurst ahh.. mmmm.. quite. Conchita meaning in Spanish " My little shell" and Wurst German for" Sausage". I'll never look at another beard again even my own if I could grow one or will I go to the beach as their might be women there with facial hair or wurst. :shock:

Ahhhhh.. My little horse. One of the best songs never to win the biggest worst singing contest in the world. If Father Ted & Dougal would have entered beard or not they would have won hands down. Father Jack could have been eye candy for the lady judges too with Mrs Doyle serving tea. Go wan , go wan, go wan... :P


BOT: How many MPs does it take to change a light bulb in Westminster Parliament? Answer: two. One buying the light bulb , the other to hold the ladder and the rest of the 648 politicians claiming for it on their expenses. :mrgreen:
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Tue May 20, 2014 1:13 pm

"Best wurst contest"?
I’ve been watching Father Ted and must be having a Dougal moment...
...is Eurovision a singing or cooking competition? :roll:

David Landau: “I love good music.”

Groucho: “Me too let’s get out of here!”
(Horse Feathers) :o
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Ilovesteptoe » Wed May 21, 2014 12:17 pm

Dirty Old Yank wrote:"Best wurst contest"?
I’ve been watching Father Ted and must be having a Dougal moment...
...is Eurovision a singing or cooking competition? :roll:

David Landau: “I love good music.”

Groucho: “Me too let’s get out of here!”
(Horse Feathers) :o


I've wondered that too especially on hearing the so-called singing if you can call it that, lol. We've had in the past Russia with OAPs rapping, Ireland with two inane twins called Jedward hopping up & down about trying to sing badly although I quite liked Finland's lordy monster rock group which was cool, then to cap it all off we had a bearded lady from Austria called Conchita Wurst. Mind you she had balls to enter with that beard. :shock:

My take on Groucho commentating on the Eurovision Contest:

Groucho: What's this with chicks and beards? Now they want to grow them themselves.

Groucho: Call that a contest. Hey you over there. You're a contest!

Groucho: Britain's just given two to Germany. No surprise there I feel.

Groucho: This isn't a singing contest it's an orgy of sound. For pity sake keep it down I'm trying to sleep, oh and stop singing too.
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Fri May 23, 2014 2:33 pm

Ilovesteptoe wrote:There's never a misty evening where I'm not swigging a jar of home made hootch...

Officer Barrowclough tosses Fletcher & Godber’s cell, looking for holiday spirits.
And not the Dickensian variety either.
Fletcher: “I’m a strict teetotaller, Mr. Barrowclough.....I don’t touch tea, never have!” :roll:
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Re: Jokes (bad or otherwise)...

Postby Ilovesteptoe » Sat May 24, 2014 3:15 pm

Dirty Old Yank wrote:
Ilovesteptoe wrote:There's never a misty evening where I'm not swigging a jar of home made hootch...

Officer Barrowclough tosses Fletcher & Godber’s cell, looking for holiday spirits.
And not the Dickensian variety either.
Fletcher: “I’m a strict teetotaller, Mr. Barrowclough.....I don’t touch tea, never have!” :roll:


I like the one where Fletch is required to give a urine sample by one of the prison Doctors and on the table opposite you can see the bottle and he replies dryly: What from over here? Ahhhhh... a wee gag always works in comedy, saying that so does a fart one thinking of it. Oops... sorry there. life imitating art. I'd give the forum 5 mins If I were you. :mrgreen:
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