Life imitating Steptoe

[Dirty Old Yank]

Have you ever actually lived a scene from a Steptoe episode?
Ambivalent relationships with parents granted, anything else more embarrassing you'd care to share? GO on.
Ever done or seen something that may have made for an amusing Steptoe scenario?
True story, just yesterday I found myself in the local dry cleaners and thought, what am I doing?! This is ridiculous!
All I wanted was to have the rips in jeans I have at home repaired and get an estimated price. The rips are in the crotch.
But the shop owners didn't speak much English.
I was left to gesticulate and point to my groin, "...Sew here, how much?"
It's a miracle I wasn't arrested!

[bob]

What a nice post.

I do remember several years ago going to the home of a friend who runs a large garden centre. Naturally his garden is very impressive.

I went to diner one afternoon with another couple who were paying their first visit to the house. They asked to see the garden and although my friend was a little bit embarrassed he did the honours. His wife was concerned that I might feel left out and asked me if I wanted to go round the garden with them.

“I’m not a bloody Teddy Bear” I replied. Straight out of “Men of Property”. I still laugh at it today.

[Dirty Old Yank]

the "teddy bear" bit is actually from Without Prejudice.
hope i'm not being cheeky, pointing that out.
truth is i don't understand the joke anyway
here's something that reminds me of Harold's futile attempts to salvage some dignity...
i was riding my bicycle across a very crowded intersection with all the traffic stopped. i hit a patch of moss and made the most spectacular, face first onto the road fall i've ever had! determined to have the last laugh, i stood up, and with a wide grin on my face, clasped my hands above my head and waved em around, like a triumphant boxer...or Harpo Marx after a harp solo.
i looked around and realized that of the dozens of drivers surrounding me, not a soul acknowledged or even noticed my attempt at humour, which made me feel even more of an oaf. oh well, points for effort anyway

[PhilGlass]

A fantastic idea for a thread.

Dirty old Yank, you failed to explain to us HOW the crotch became so ripped and worn... lol

My Steptoe moments are usually just the strange things me and the old man argue over. Like Harold and Albert, if one of us says the sky is blue, the other will prove it is Pink just to create conversation.

He's also bloody better than me at everything...

But he's also my best friend. We are very much like the Steptoes - we even had a period where for a couple of years we made a (bloody good) living from buying pure junk from auction houses, cleaning it up and selling it on, in car boot sales and online. Though we never actually bought a regency commode for seven pound ten, we did meet several gay antique dealers and got tucked up once or twice!!!

I shall be looking out for Steptoe moments in the future.

[taylorslade]

Great topic, guys.

Straight away, I can tell you that my living situation is more or less like that of the Steptoes ; I live with my slightly eccentric, dyed in the wool Father in a tiny flat in a tower block. We also have the same kind of relationship that they have. In our local pub at the end of my street, we are sometimes referred to as "The Steptoes".

Also, when I was around 5 years old, I lived next door to a rag and bone man. Of course, I saw him totting regularly and I remember being massively intrigued by the rows of live goldfish in plastic fish bags which were given to children in return for items.

[Dirty Old Yank]

Phil, the reasons for my torn Levis aren't rude, but i almost wish they were, it would make for funnier reading!
it's just that manufacturing quality standards have plummeted, a pair used to last years. now you're lucky if they last 6 months, and for some reason the first place they wear thread bare is you know where. i could patch them up myself, but i'm no good with needle & thread.
my relationship with my pater is similar to Harold & Albert's too, which makes the show all the more enjoyable and our occasional petty rows considerably easier to laugh at.

[Dirty Old Yank]

another true bit, long before i ever saw Steptoe...
I had this mate who rolled his own cigarettes and like Albert bought the cheapest tobacco he could find. I'm a smoker myself, but when he lit up one of those things in my flat the thick acrid fog was so nasty even I couldn't take it. I'd wave my arms around like Harold trying to clear the air and moan about his "horrible stinking fags!"
It was so bad I'd give him some of mine to smoke instead.
After a while I began to suspect he only smoked those wretched things at my place...to get free fags!

[PhilGlass]

I bumped in to an old friend today while in Tesco. We hadn't seen each other for years, and she and I used to be really close.

I made the fatal mistake of asking "when's it due?"... it turns out there was nothing due, except another trip to the pie shop.

Very embarassing. SO conversely, remember: NEVER offer your seat to a pregnant lady on the bus - because it's far kinder to see a pregnant woman standing than a fat girl sat down crying!!!!!!

[Dirty Old Yank]

Ouch.
That virtually epitomizes the expression "open mouth, insert foot."
I'm embarrassed enough laughing out loud at that post...which I did.
Women on buses...reminds me of one time I got on a bus and started walking to the back looking for a seat.
I passed an elderly lady who was...how shall I put this? Staring where she shouldn't with a toothy grin.
What can ye do? Blush, smile back and keep moving.
You dirty old woman!

[Dirty Old Yank]

A few days ago I was chatting with my aunt, she's such a dear (as aunties tend to be).
She mentioned someone that had passed on that was very close to her and began to describe the share out...she even described a particular piece.
I instantly thought of "Oh, What A Beautiful Mourning" and very nearly blurted out a completely involuntary laugh.
She's an incredibly good humored gal, but that could have been awkward.

[PhilGlass]

I'm currently moving flats... from an area where guns are currency to somewhere where you have to wash your hands after going to the toilet... I'm tempted to make them pay me not to move there but I can't think of how to put them off...

[PhilGlass]

I had to ressurect this old thread because I had a very Steptoe like moment a few days ago.

My mum and Nana were on holiday in blackpool - my nana is partially disabled so my mum goes with her a lot - so my dad came to stay at mine for a couple of nights so we could pop in for 2 days and join them.

In one of the arcades they have a small section of those beautiful old vintage arcade games, well... a couple of steptoe moments... firstly, there were SELLING OLD PENNIES AT TEN PENCE EACH - I could hear the Vicar's voice! Seconly, they had an old WHAT THE BUTLER SAW MACHINE... which gave THREE EPISODES FOR THREE PENCE... Of course, I had a look (who needed the internet when there was so much filth so readily availabke!)

The whole thing just reminded me of "porn Yesterday" so much. Thankfully, the "film" was a young lady on her own, so no risky of seeing my dirty old man in there! But the whole thing just made me feel like I was living the episode!! Loved it!! Get yourself along there...

Oh, and that new thing they do on Blackpool front where they have a list of all the acts who have played there and quotes from them... one of the names who played there? HARRY H. CORBETT, though the quotes are not attributed to a particular person, so no idea which was his. I would guess this was his one man cabaret show that he often toured with, or if not, the ALL STARS show he did in 69 and 71!!! With that and the horse drawn carts and the streets full of horse dung, it's like living in Steptoe and Son in blackpool nowadays!

[Ronnie_1990]

South London funerals are still a lot like the one in oh what a beautiful morning, only when cockneys are involved. Although it is not as blunt as in the episode. You get people coming out of the woodwork when someone is nearly dying, there flats are raided by the family before the funeral most of the time. I know some who have even gone down the bank the same day as the persons death to get there money out when there account was on a book. The family don't speak after the funeral. Never seen a fight at a funeral or any arguments on the day, Have seen bickering about who is getting in the front two cars. but your always get arguments over the phone about who has to do what and who is getting what if theres not a will. Weddings are not really the same as in steptoe (I can only remember one wedding in an episode) but they always end in a fight in south London. I guess its a dying generation.

I think oh what a beautiful morning is the best episode for me as I can relate to it a bit.

[Dirty Old Yank]

Thanks for resurrecting the topic guys, the Steptoe moments come so fast and furious lately, one forgets to note them!! Phew. Laughter has increasingly become de rigueur, otherwise you'd cry all day, human behavior is so bafflingly bizarre lol. I'm finding that, being low income in a community that desperately aspires to be posh, that words like compassion and empathy and understanding have little meaning. It's like living in the first crimbo special, Harold pays for service and instead is directed to the bins out back. I'm not moaning, just...bemused by some of my fellow yanks lol. The Stranglers sang 'only the wealthy get to be good looking.' Well I'd rather be ugly and reasonably intelligent, than rich and blank slate stupid. No wonder Steptoe is a favorite

[harryfaversham]

Thanks for resurrecting the topic guys, the Steptoe moments come so fast and furious lately, one forgets to note them!! Phew. Laughter has increasingly become de rigueur, otherwise you'd cry all day, human behavior is so bafflingly bizarre lol. I'm finding that, being low income in a community that desperately aspires to be posh, that words like compassion and empathy and understanding have little meaning. It's like living in the first crimbo special, Harold pays for service and instead is directed to the bins out back. I'm not moaning, just...bemused by some of my fellow yanks lol. The Stranglers sang 'only the wealthy get to be good looking.' Well I'd rather be ugly and reasonably intelligent, than rich and blank slate stupid. No wonder Steptoe is a favorite

I really couldn't have said it any better DOY