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Life imitating Steptoe

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Re: Life imitating Steptoe

Postby bob » Thu Jan 24, 2013 7:30 pm

Right now my life is imitating Steptoe, its F*****g S**T.

God bless you all.
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Re: Life imitating Steptoe

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Fri Jan 25, 2013 2:15 pm

bob wrote:God bless you all.

And you Bob, best wishes for a better year, there's no doubt everyone concurs :)
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Re: Life imitating Steptoe

Postby Archie » Thu May 30, 2013 2:31 pm

I attended a country music concert last night by Irish stars Nathan Carter and Lisa Stanley. The concert was superb apart from one thing, there was a bloke in the row behind me who would often speak to his wife during a song :x

He reminded me of Albert in Sunday For Seven Days, I didn't threaten to turn round and stuff him though :shock:
Eeh I wanna see the Nudes of 1964
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Re: Life imitating Steptoe

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Sat Oct 26, 2013 12:55 pm

Archie wrote:...a bloke in the row behind...reminded me of Albert in Sunday For Seven Days, I didn't threaten to turn round and stuff him though :shock:

Wise decision Archie, clever comments to complete strangers aint always safe and can't match movie goers throwing buckets of popcorn at the screen and at each other in a darkened theatre. I never actually did that but miss it all the same, huge fun. Wasn't so long ago (in the US anyway) when that was accepted, anticipated by ticket purchasing audiences and encouraged by filmmakers/exhibitors. Horror movies typically, not art house screenings of Fellini. Nowadays if people harmlessly throw popcorn at each other, they get chucked out*. Goes to show how much has changed, movie going has been transformed (mostly) into a fairly humourless, non-participatory experience, tiny screens and extortion prices :roll:.
Edit: *Or get murdered by gun toting lunatics.
Last edited by Dirty Old Yank on Thu Apr 28, 2016 2:29 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Life imitating Steptoe

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Wed Nov 20, 2013 1:06 pm

Recently found myself in a seafood restaurant, an 80th birthday celebration, lots of folks crowded round a tiny table, dear gal, she had a grand time. Anyway, those of us that have waited tables know how incredibly difficult the gig is, so when I read the menu with grotesquely inflated prices (I came for a meal, not to finance the late Jacques Cousteau) and saw "fish and chips with french fries", naturally I requested what should've been the easiest and least expensive item and asked, "Um, does this mean I get a double helping of chips? Or can I expect french fries on the side?" Chances are you've already guessed, poor sod had no clue what I was talking about. Obviously his employers who approved and printed the menus aren't aware that 'chips' & 'french fries' are the same thing and couldn't be bothered with such trivialities. I attempted to explain what was so funny but it was useless, lost in translation. Only the birthday girl understood, bless her :o
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Re: Life imitating Steptoe

Postby Archie » Tue Dec 03, 2013 7:01 pm

So that's what happened to the Christmas tree :shock:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... -1929.html
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Re: Life imitating Steptoe

Postby Ilovesteptoe » Sat Dec 07, 2013 5:56 pm

The only similarity with Harold Steptoe besides my obvious god dam dashing good looks and style I was once given a Stepladder by a rag and bone man after he saw me struggling to cut my hedge using a chair. He said to me and I'll never forget his words of wisdom that "next time use an electric trimmer as it's sharper." :wink:
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Re: Life imitating Steptoe

Postby tianmoon » Sun Aug 10, 2014 3:18 pm

god yes ,could just see some officers asking you to come along with them.
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Re: Life imitating Steptoe

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Mon Nov 09, 2015 4:51 am

Apologies for resurrecting this topic but it can’t be helped, just walking down the street is a Steptoe episode these days. I recently hurt my shoulder, couldn’t imagine what happened and fearing the onset of arthritis I asked a shopkeeper I know if he could offer some advise. He’s a really nice chap but doesn’t speak English very well, and he said, “Maybe you injured your rotary club” (he meant rotary cuff). Although I was in pain, I couldn’t stop laughing so he swore at me, “Pogue mahon!” (he pronounced it 'poke your own'). I taught him that expression years ago and he still doesn’t know what it means, which made me laugh even louder. Hope he’ll let me back in the shop again.
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Re: Life imitating Steptoe

Postby Ivor Biggun » Fri Nov 27, 2015 8:07 am

Dirty Old Yank wrote:Recently found myself in a seafood restaurant, an 80th birthday celebration, lots of folks crowded round a tiny table, dear gal, she had a grand time. Anyway, those of us that have waited tables know how incredibly difficult the gig is, so when I read the menu with grotesquely inflated prices (I came for a meal, not to finance the late Jacques Cousteau) and saw "fish and chips with french fries", naturally I requested what should've been the easiest and least expensive item and asked, "Um, does this mean I get a double helping of chips? Or can I expect french fries on the side?" Chances are you've already guessed, poor sod had no clue what I was talking about. Obviously his employers who approved and printed the menus aren't aware that 'chips' & 'french fries' are the same thing and couldn't be bothered with such trivialities. I attempted to explain what was so funny but it was useless, lost in translation. Only the birthday girl understood, bless her :o


I come away from reading that with the idea that the 'with french fries' is a clarification that the "fish and chips" is actually served with french fries instead of English style chips.

And, no, fries and chips are NOT the same thing as I found out when I went to England and ordered them. They are both potatoes fried in oil or fat but that's where the similarity ends. The way the potatoes are cut, and in some case the variety of potato and the oil or fat used to cook them, makes a big difference.
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Re: Life imitating Steptoe

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Fri Nov 27, 2015 5:21 pm

Ivor Biggun wrote:
Dirty Old Yank wrote:Recently found myself in a seafood restaurant, an 80th birthday celebration, lots of folks crowded round a tiny table, dear gal, she had a grand time. Anyway, those of us that have waited tables know how incredibly difficult the gig is, so when I read the menu with grotesquely inflated prices (I came for a meal, not to finance the late Jacques Cousteau) and saw "fish and chips with french fries", naturally I requested what should've been the easiest and least expensive item and asked, "Um, does this mean I get a double helping of chips? Or can I expect french fries on the side?" Chances are you've already guessed, poor sod had no clue what I was talking about. Obviously his employers who approved and printed the menus aren't aware that 'chips' & 'french fries' are the same thing and couldn't be bothered with such trivialities. I attempted to explain what was so funny but it was useless, lost in translation. Only the birthday girl understood, bless her :o

I come away from reading that with the idea that the 'with french fries' is a clarification that the "fish and chips" is actually served with french fries instead of English style chips. And, no, fries and chips are NOT the same thing as I found out when I went to England and ordered them. They are both potatoes fried in oil or fat but that's where the similarity ends. The way the potatoes are cut, and in some case the variety of potato and the oil or fat used to cook them, makes a big difference.

Thanks for replying Ivor, we haven’t chatted in quite a while, hope you're well :).
With all due respect for your zeal to distinguish between chip varieties and assorted oils...because you’re right, there is a difference which I was already well aware of, thus my true story which you're ostensibly replying to...but you must admit this is reminiscent of that Fawlty Towers scene where a petulant child moans to an equally petulant John Cleese (who had no excuse because he’s an adult :wink:) that they’re the wrong shape. It’s a potato for pity's sake, delicious yeah, but there aren’t so many ways to prepare a potato without veering off into science fiction sculptures that make the palate reel in horror. I mean.....Pringles? Yeah, terrific, dee-lish :roll:. And Ivor, why would you need to go to England for chips if as you suggested years ago (early as 2012) that you’re a Briton living in the States? Or did I misinterpret your meaning? You certainly misinterpreted mine. Hey ho, mistakes happen :o. Without errors, learning curves wouldn't occur...although when I think of curves, Rachel Welch inevitably comes to mind.
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Re: Life imitating Steptoe

Postby Ivor Biggun » Sat Nov 28, 2015 7:29 am

Dirty Old Yank wrote:
Ivor Biggun wrote:
Dirty Old Yank wrote:Recently found myself in a seafood restaurant, an 80th birthday celebration, lots of folks crowded round a tiny table, dear gal, she had a grand time. Anyway, those of us that have waited tables know how incredibly difficult the gig is, so when I read the menu with grotesquely inflated prices (I came for a meal, not to finance the late Jacques Cousteau) and saw "fish and chips with french fries", naturally I requested what should've been the easiest and least expensive item and asked, "Um, does this mean I get a double helping of chips? Or can I expect french fries on the side?" Chances are you've already guessed, poor sod had no clue what I was talking about. Obviously his employers who approved and printed the menus aren't aware that 'chips' & 'french fries' are the same thing and couldn't be bothered with such trivialities. I attempted to explain what was so funny but it was useless, lost in translation. Only the birthday girl understood, bless her :o

I come away from reading that with the idea that the 'with french fries' is a clarification that the "fish and chips" is actually served with french fries instead of English style chips. And, no, fries and chips are NOT the same thing as I found out when I went to England and ordered them. They are both potatoes fried in oil or fat but that's where the similarity ends. The way the potatoes are cut, and in some case the variety of potato and the oil or fat used to cook them, makes a big difference.

Thanks for replying Ivor, we haven’t chatted in quite a while, hope you're well :).
With all due respect for your zeal to distinguish between chip varieties and assorted oils...because you’re right, there is a difference which I was already well aware of, thus my true story which you're ostensibly replying to...but you must admit this is reminiscent of that Fawlty Towers scene where a petulant child moans to an equally petulant John Cleese (who had no excuse because he’s an adult :wink:) that they’re the wrong shape. It’s a potato for pity's sake, delicious yeah, but there aren’t so many ways to prepare a potato without veering off into science fiction sculptures that make the palate reel in horror. I mean.....Pringles? Yeah, terrific, dee-lish :roll:. And Ivor, why would you need to go to England for chips if as you suggested years ago (early as 2012) that you’re a Briton living in the States? Or did I misinterpret your meaning? You certainly misinterpreted mine. Hey ho, mistakes happen :o. Without errors, learning curves wouldn't occur...although when I think of curves, Rachel Welch inevitably comes to mind.
Talk about fit, corrr :D. Jaw droppingly feminine!


It actually does make a difference how the potato is cut because when you cut it thicker the oil doesn't penetrate as deeply into the potato so you get something that is crispy around the edges but soft and fluffy inside without being greasy like McDonald's french fries. They are healthier, too.
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Re: Life imitating Steptoe

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Sat Nov 28, 2015 1:53 pm

Ivor Biggun wrote:It actually does make a difference how the potato is cut because when you cut it thicker the oil doesn't penetrate as deeply into the potato so you get something that is crispy around the edges but soft and fluffy inside without being greasy like McDonald's french fries. They are healthier, too.

Have you seen that Fawlty Towers scene with the cheeky kid? You must have done, from the Gourmet Night episode. It’s brilliant, Booth and Cleese at their very best, “These eggs look like you laid them” :o.
I have had proper British chips you know, and there’s no question they’re way better than Yank french fries. And major chain fast food, I wouldn’t touch fast food with a barge pole let alone a fork, those places are notoriously filthy. Anyway, the purpose of my original post was to point out how absurd the situation was: “fish and chips with french fries” makes no sense at all, ask for a clarification and get a vacant stare. A year later at another birthday celebration in the same restaurant, a completely different server...and exactly the same thing happened. The first time, me and my Mum (it was her 80th) we looked at each other and laughed, but the second time we just rolled our eyes because...what else is there to say? Have you ever tried Pringles crisps? One bite was enough. I thought, “People eat this stuff?” Go figure :roll:.
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Re: Life imitating Steptoe

Postby Uncle Nobby » Thu Dec 03, 2015 10:51 am

Ilovesteptoe wrote:The only similarity with Harold Steptoe besides my obvious god dam dashing good looks and style I was once given a Stepladder by a rag and bone man after he saw me struggling to cut my hedge using a chair. He said to me and I'll never forget his words of wisdom that "next time use an electric trimmer as it's sharper." :wink:

@ILS - Very wise that Old Totter.

Fancy trying to cut a hedge with a chair :roll:

Chairs are for sitting on not cutting, although deck chairs can of course be pretty lethal to the old fingers. :mrgreen:
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Re: Life imitating Steptoe

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Wed Dec 21, 2016 9:38 am

If this isn’t Life imitating Steptoe, I dunno what is.....
Years ago a girlfriend and me were visiting my aged parents. And while the two of us chatted away, she casually perused the magazines my folks had conspicuously placed on the table as if to say "Yeah, we read this rubbish." Akin to a dentists office. Unfortunately, for me anyway, they’d accidentally left an adult shop catalogue buried between the magazines, which my girlfriend discovered and showed to me. She thought it was cute and innocent, and she was right!! But as I thumbed through that adult toys mailer which was addressed to them, I involuntarily shuddered...exactly like Harold in “porn Yesterday.” One of those moments forever seared into my memory...
Eyes agape as the jaw drops :shock:. Might be easy to laugh at now but at the time was quite disturbing :o.
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