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Funniest Line

An opportunity to discuss any aspect of the TV series

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Re: Funniest Line

Postby tspencer » Sat Mar 24, 2012 1:00 am

In.. Divided We Stand.
Harold: You are morally, spiritually and physically a festering fly blown heap of accumulating filth!! :lol:
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Re: Funniest Line

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Tue Mar 27, 2012 11:59 am

"I never saw a bird move so quick, she was out of here faster than a bishop from a brothel raid!" - Albert / And So To Bed
"I'm a rag n' bone man, I'm not a poxy grave robber!"
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Re: Funniest Line

Postby Tom Jones » Thu Mar 29, 2012 3:46 am

In Without Prejudice when Albert warns Harold about the estate agent.
Albert: I'm not leaving you alone with him, he'll ave your trousers down before you look at him.
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Re: Funniest Line

Postby sammyRV » Sat Apr 07, 2012 9:13 pm

'never mind king zog flees, we've got king size flees'............. :lol:
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Re: Funniest Line

Postby CurriedGoolies » Mon Apr 30, 2012 5:00 pm

So many of them...

"Ere, what's the size of my mum's bristols got to do with anything?"
"Oh, you don't know him, he can get on your tits something rotten"
"You 'ad a lovely bleedin' war didn't yer - all them Canadians!"
"And if you feels like a D'Oyley Carte, kindly go outside"
"The next item on the menu will be curried goolies"
"She's got TB...Two Beauties!"

"Afternoon Mr Steptoe...quite an Indian summer we're having"
"Yeah, well there's enough of them living around here!"
DEHHHH!
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Re: Funniest Line

Postby harryfaversham » Fri Jun 01, 2012 1:26 pm

At the risk of being branded a thoughtless racist (which I'm not in any way to be clear):-

Albert in the '73 Xmas Special-"Enoch's dreaming of a white Christmas!"

Just the delivery and the fact Ray & Alan could get away with writing a line like that back then always cracks me up
"I've never had an x-ray"

"Yes you have! Two years ago when the 'orse kicked you in the cobblers!"
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Re: Funniest Line

Postby steve sheffield » Sat Jun 09, 2012 4:25 pm

As black as a Gorilla's goolies !
Albert describing a christmas pudding.
3 Handkerchiefs and a pair of Y fronts. Enoch's dreaming of a white christmas.
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Re: Funniest Line

Postby Dirty Old Yank » Sun Jun 10, 2012 10:36 am

"That is my dad and he's an ignorant old git!" - Harold / A Star Is Born
"Sex mad you are!" - Albert / Sixty-Five Today :shock:
"I'm a rag n' bone man, I'm not a poxy grave robber!"
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Re: Funniest Line

Postby Ivor Biggun » Sun Jun 10, 2012 7:02 pm

Jonny: An 'orse? We can't make a getaway on an 'orse!

Harold: Dick Turpin did...
I thought we'd nick a wreath off one of the graves as we went in.
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Re: Funniest Line

Postby THE VICAR » Sun Jun 10, 2012 9:21 pm

"its hitler dont metion the war it might upset him . :D
not the vicar again hes had two bob of me this year already.
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Re: Funniest Line

Postby THE VICAR » Sun Jun 10, 2012 9:27 pm

"also from seance in a wet rag and bone yard you are a silly turd and youknow how it is when you meet a bird for the first time :D
not the vicar again hes had two bob of me this year already.
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Re: Funniest Line

Postby steve sheffield » Sat Jun 16, 2012 9:55 am

Big Walnut crusher's CORRRRRR......
3 Handkerchiefs and a pair of Y fronts. Enoch's dreaming of a white christmas.
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Re: Funniest Line

Postby Ivor Biggun » Sat Jun 30, 2012 5:51 pm

From My Old Man's a Tory

Albert to the Labour Party agent: "I know which way YOUR seat will swing when I stick my boot up it!"
I thought we'd nick a wreath off one of the graves as we went in.
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Re: Funniest Line

Postby HILTS3188 » Tue Jul 10, 2012 6:01 pm

harold.......father at times i do find you inpinge on my finer aesthetic moments.

albert.......so what your saying is, i get on your tits.

sheer genius and in the right circumstances, i use harolds line to my wife, has her chuckling :lol:
at times you do impinge on my finer aesthetic moments
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Re: Funniest Line

Postby thejunkman » Wed Jul 18, 2012 6:09 pm

Albert : 'Ere, I remember this - Mussolini invades Albania - King Zog flees.
Harold : That's nothing mate, we got King Size fleas here!
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