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Re: Funniest Line

PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 1:00 am
by tspencer
In.. Divided We Stand.
Harold: You are morally, spiritually and physically a festering fly blown heap of accumulating filth!! :lol:

Re: Funniest Line

PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 11:59 am
by Dirty Old Yank
"I never saw a bird move so quick, she was out of here faster than a bishop from a brothel raid!" - Albert / And So To Bed

Re: Funniest Line

PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 3:46 am
by Tom Jones
In Without Prejudice when Albert warns Harold about the estate agent.
Albert: I'm not leaving you alone with him, he'll ave your trousers down before you look at him.

Re: Funniest Line

PostPosted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 9:13 pm
by sammyRV
'never mind king zog flees, we've got king size flees'............. :lol:

Re: Funniest Line

PostPosted: Mon Apr 30, 2012 5:00 pm
by CurriedGoolies
So many of them...

"Ere, what's the size of my mum's bristols got to do with anything?"
"Oh, you don't know him, he can get on your tits something rotten"
"You 'ad a lovely bleedin' war didn't yer - all them Canadians!"
"And if you feels like a D'Oyley Carte, kindly go outside"
"The next item on the menu will be curried goolies"
"She's got TB...Two Beauties!"

"Afternoon Mr Steptoe...quite an Indian summer we're having"
"Yeah, well there's enough of them living around here!"

Re: Funniest Line

PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 1:26 pm
by harryfaversham
At the risk of being branded a thoughtless racist (which I'm not in any way to be clear):-

Albert in the '73 Xmas Special-"Enoch's dreaming of a white Christmas!"

Just the delivery and the fact Ray & Alan could get away with writing a line like that back then always cracks me up

Re: Funniest Line

PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 4:25 pm
by steve sheffield
As black as a Gorilla's goolies !
Albert describing a christmas pudding.

Re: Funniest Line

PostPosted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 10:36 am
by Dirty Old Yank
"That is my dad and he's an ignorant old git!" - Harold / A Star Is Born
"Sex mad you are!" - Albert / Sixty-Five Today :shock:

Re: Funniest Line

PostPosted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 7:02 pm
by Ivor Biggun
Jonny: An 'orse? We can't make a getaway on an 'orse!

Harold: Dick Turpin did...

Re: Funniest Line

PostPosted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 9:21 pm
by THE VICAR
"its hitler dont metion the war it might upset him . :D

Re: Funniest Line

PostPosted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 9:27 pm
by THE VICAR
"also from seance in a wet rag and bone yard you are a silly turd and youknow how it is when you meet a bird for the first time :D

Re: Funniest Line

PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 9:55 am
by steve sheffield
Big Walnut crusher's CORRRRRR......

Re: Funniest Line

PostPosted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 5:51 pm
by Ivor Biggun
From My Old Man's a Tory

Albert to the Labour Party agent: "I know which way YOUR seat will swing when I stick my boot up it!"

Re: Funniest Line

PostPosted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 6:01 pm
by HILTS3188
harold.......father at times i do find you inpinge on my finer aesthetic moments.

albert.......so what your saying is, i get on your tits.

sheer genius and in the right circumstances, i use harolds line to my wife, has her chuckling :lol:

Re: Funniest Line

PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 6:09 pm
by thejunkman
Albert : 'Ere, I remember this - Mussolini invades Albania - King Zog flees.
Harold : That's nothing mate, we got King Size fleas here!